dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
