So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
