Your mouth is God's brothel.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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