The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Still dying that you shit outside
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
