All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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