Can i not drive my cunt home
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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