imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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