my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I look better un-naked...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
