My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm like, not good at living.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
