Well douche your snatch and let's go!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
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I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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