Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
