Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize