I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
