is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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