Kiss
Puke
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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