I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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