Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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