JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she peed on how many people?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
