where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My liver just broke up with me...
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
