I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
