Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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