What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
