phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
