yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
