the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize