at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
