you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
