Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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