what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
