And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
