Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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