At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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