There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
