he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
