Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
