thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
