I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
