it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
