i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
