I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
That reminds me...we need to get swords
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i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The feeling are messing with the penis
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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