I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize