Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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