when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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