i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
