Are we in a gay sports bar?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
