I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize