Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
