She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
