I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
