i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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