the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
