On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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