But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
