yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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