is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize