Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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