am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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