problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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