Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
