mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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