you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
