She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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