I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
