you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
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I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
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WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.