I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
