i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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