Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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