So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
