omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
