oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
