My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
