The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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