Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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