Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
